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Ten MORE Commandments (XI-XX)



It has been thousands of years since the ten commandments were
handed down. It's now the 21st century - and the world is in dire need
of some new and modern guidance. Like 10 more commandments .....

Thou shalt honor thy environment
that means stoppeth polluting the planet, stoppeth overpopulating the planet, stoppeth overdeveloping the planet. The planet is thy home; clean up your room!

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass
that means that thou shalt not envy or hijack thy neighbor's donkey (though both men and women find it hard to resist a nice ass). Thou shalt also not steal or covet thy neighbor's life partner or barbeque or envy thy neighbor's home equity or investment portfolio.

Thou shalt not drive over 80
that means anyone over the age of 80 shalt not be allowed to have a driver's license. They shalt be considered a vehicular danger unto themselves and unto others on the road and on the sidewalk.

Thou shalt not spam
that means thou shalt not send junk emails to millions of people who don't want them. A curse on spammers hither and yon touting all manner of potions and lotions and poor quality tapes of celebrities having sex. If thou send spam may THY hair fall out, may THOU not get a good mortgage rate and may THY organ be too small or cease to function.

Thou shalt eat less fat
that means limiting thyself to a maximum total of 25 grams of fat DAILY. Thou shalt read each and every label for number of grams of fat. Thou shalt plan thy daily fat intake or else when thy daily fat gram total reaches 25 thou shalt stop eating until sunrise of the following day.

Thou shalt be tolerant
that means be tolerant of others. And yourself. No matter how stupid they are.

Thou shalt not commit adulthood
that means a part of thou shalt keep the curiousity, simplicity and wonderment of a child.

Thou shalt forgive
that means thou shalt learn to forgive, thyself and others, and practice forgiveness unto them. Thou shalt forgive and move on. Thou shalt use more wisdom, and less lawyers, and let the universe handle it.

Thou shalt be wary of thy rulers
that means thou shalt not trust thy politicians, as most are lawyers, all of them lie, and none of them are looking after thy best interests (unless thou art a major campaign contributor).

Thou shalt live by thy higher purpose
that means everyone has a unique and special higher purpose in life. And thou shalt know what thy higher life purpose is and abide by it. To discover thy higher life purpose go unto http://lifepurpose.0catch.com

copyright 2004 news4net/Andrew Lawrence


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